I only have four weeks left of school...and not one of those, besides this week, is a full five day week.
That is just so insane to me. I mean, I feel like I just started. These kids, this experience has been absolutley incredible. I came to the realization tonight that I absolutley cannot put my worries about the future ahead of my passion and love for this job. I need to take in every single moment and finish this year strong. I cannot even begin to tell you how much it is going to break my heart to leave these kids, but I can tell you that I won't let my own anxieties, fears, and stress get in the way of loving them right up until that final bell on June 18th.
I am going to try my absolute best to find the good in every day, even though they are crazy with thoughts of summer just around the corner. Today, for example, the good was when I had my first of a few scheduled sit downs with students. Since I have grown so close with many of them, I have decided to sit some of them down in small groups and let them know how much I appreciate them. I started with two girls today, and, with tears in their eyes, we shared memories of this year and gratitude toward one another. It was absolutley lovely. I am also planning on writing letters again, like I did last year before I graduated from WMU. So, if you have played a role in my year with MVC, get ready for a letter.
I continued my Spill Canvas listening party tonight with their second album, One Fell Swoop. It's my favorite! Here are just some of the best lyrics
You’re my crutch when it’s all too hard to bear…see without you here, I would not be anywhere
Ten bucks says you don’t have it in you to conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to…you are careening shamelessly into oblivion, where you will live alone with your chemicals and gin
I’m utterly disgusted with the path you trek, as inebriated as you can get off your latest pay check, I am at a loss for words here, I hate to break this to you but being a coward is not a legitimate career
I want you staple gunned to my side all of the time….do I have to spell it out for you, or scream it in your face? Oh the chemistry between us could destroy this place.
You answer the door with your innocent face…would you like to leave this human race tonight?
Follow me into the sea, we’ll drown together and immortalize you and me. Leave behind this lonely town, we’re both better than this, it’s not worth being down.
Yes it’s true, you’ve brainwashed me and now I’m more confused, I still somehow hope I end up with you
Screw what my supposed friends think, it’s obvious they reek of jealousy
My shredded throat will try to sing for you
When the sun goes down and the shadows grow, just trust in us and forever know...please keep holding on to me
I’m racking my brain, tying to comprehend, how for some unknown reason our status will remain as friends
Tonight I make a secret oath…to keep chasing after you…and I am not going to stop, whether you like it or not
Yeah I know you listen to this all alone up in your room, I know you love how all this music is about you
I’m sick of you leading me on, I’m sick of you stringing me along.
Every poison kiss that you blew, I deflected with an icy cold stare that I learned from you
Well it’s more than a shame that we lost to this game, all my walking, talking, breathing, sleeping, nothing will ever be the same
For what it’s worth, I’ve always admired you. I always thought that we could make it through…now look what time can do…it took the masterpiece we built and broke it in two…I always believed in you. I always loved you.
Hypothetically if you were point a, and theoretically if I were point b, we would be we would be frantically melting into one massive point that could overcome anything
She said I don’t care, you don’t even know me, I said I know but I’d like to change that soon hopefully
We all flirt with the tiniest notion of self conclusion in one simplified motion…you see the trick is you’re never supposed to act on it, no matter how unbearable this misery gets
Settle precious, I know what you’re going through
I wanna tear apart your room to see if what you say is true…darling don’t you lie lie to me
I’m scared to death to find out what you think of me
I’m the king of this pity party with my jewel encrusted crown
According to you we don’t click that’s a blatant lie and you know it…angel what are you hiding from me
In one fell swoop it became clear to me…that I despise you entirely.
I’m on my knees, so are you, unfortunately for the wrong reasons
There’s nothing wrong with being lonely.
Tomorrow night is No Really, I'm Fine :)